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  • Writer's pictureElisabeth Dorosh

Opposites Attract

We have good friends with very different personalities and very different jobs. One works around people all day in a very emotionally and mentally demanding occupation. So while he tends to be more extroverted, by the end of his day job, he is drained. . His wife in the other hand works by herself and hardly sees any people at all during the day. So although she leans toward introversion, by the end of the day, she is craving some human interaction and conversation. . She typically arrives at home before her husband does and eagerly awaits his arrival, wanting to snuggle, hear all about his day and talk and talk. . While he is certainly excited to see his wife, this interaction further drains his very empty tank. These hours after work each day begin to become tense, as his fatigue can come off as disinterested and disengaged, which often ends up hurting his wife, completely unintentionally, because that time together was necessary for her feel loved and connected. . After years of repeating this after work scenario day in and day out, he finally came to the realization that if he just had a half hour after work to decompress, close his eyes, and enjoy some “alone time”, he would feel completely recharged! Then he couldn’t hardly wait to catch up and spend time with his wife! . He communicated this realization to her and it was as if a huge weight had been lifted off their marriage and interactions. She was now able to plan around this time, always protecting that after work alone time for her husband, and knowing that his need for space had nothing to do with her. . Often we have found misunderstandings like these can creep in and create a divide. It can be hard to see the best in your spouse when you feel hurt or rejected by them. But more often than not, we find our partner’s intentions are actually GOOD and the root of the issue falls on a lack of communication. . So whether it’s 30 minutes of alone time after work, or 30 minutes of intentional time together that you need, just be sure to communicate this and it might just save you from YEARS of frustrating evenings after work as you find a way to meet each of your needs that works for you both!

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