The Most Frustrating Marriage Advice
For our wedding, we had our niece read a scripture and share a story during our wedding ceremony. So when she got married a few months ago, she requested that we do the same for her! We were honored, excited, and super nervous! (We both have anxiety surrounding public speaking - even Naz, if you can believe it!) After weeks of deliberating on what we would say, here is a snippet of what we shared: Something Nazari and I share in common with the two of you is having gotten married young. Throughout our relationship, one of the more common things we were told was, “Oh, You just wait.”
Unfortunately these words are most often spoken with a negative connotation. “You just wait until the butterflies wear off.” “You just wait until you’re out of the newlywed phase.” “You just wait until a few years down the road and the grand gestures stop.” “You just wait until you have kids.”
This was always our least favorite marital commentary. Perhaps they were just trying to give these starry eyed kids a healthy dose or reality, but it always ended up being super discouraging.
Through the years though, we’ve discovered that there are days where we can see where their cautionary heeds are coming from... because yes, it’s true, marriage can be reeeeeeeally challenging on so many levels.
You share life with a person that at times can be tough to like. And you learn in a whole new way that love is a choice. One that isn’t always glamorous, or exciting or seemingly romantic.
But we continually come back to the fact that Jesus chooses to love us unconditionally, even at our worst. *Especially* at our worst. And that’s what makes his love for us so radical.
Because of this radical love, we are given a perfect example to emulate. When like Christ, our commitment to love our spouse overcomes how we feel about our spouse, that’s where the magic happens.
It’s in the long days, it’s in working through the inevitable conflict and having difficult conversations even when you don’t want to, its in the unwavering commitment despite the obstacles thrown our way... it’s choosing to go to bed beside a person you don’t want to even be in the same house with, It’s being the first to say “I’m sorry” - which we’ve found can be two of the hardest words you’ll ever have to utter aloud...
It’s in those little moments that become the big moments that true love is cultivated. It’s defiantly not easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.
So to you, we extend those same words spoken to us, but challenge you to look at them in a different light.
“You. just. wait!”
By persevering together through anything life throws your way, and by striving to love each other as Christ has loved us, you’re in store for the greatest adventure in this lifetime. Choosing each other again and again makes your love stronger, it helps to not only preserve those newlywed butterflies, it magnifies them😉
Today is just the most perfect start of an amazing journey that only gets better from here, should you continue to pursue one another for all your days. You. Just. Wait! 💛